Much like books, poems, and film life happens in transitions. Books have chapters to mark the start of a new segment. Poems have breaks or verses to indicate the start of a new thought. Films use scenes and various other techniques to indicate the change happening in film. Life happens in the same way with the tags that are put on in the phases of an individual's life. These tags can be identified as newborn, toddlers, teenagers, adults, pre - school, kindergarten, elementary school, high school, college and within the various school phases there are grades to indicate process. With these transitions comes new hardships, trials, challenges, choices, responsibility, opportunities and so on. I'd like to focus on the transition I had from high school to college with a song by one of my favorite artists I discovered in the 7th grade.
Before I begin, I'd like to make note that I did not take music "seriously" until I was going through the transition phase between high school and college. I discovered that music is a powerful way to convey thoughts, emotions, and sometimes things that cannot really be said upfront. Today music is essential to my everyday routine from driving, studying, walking around campus or winding down. Song lyrics can be applied to the listeners life even if the song is personal to the artist and its these connections that make music special. That being said, this song by Drake is called 'Jungle' and I will use it to describe the transition I was going through from high school to college.
Genius lyric (a popular website for interpreting song lyrics) suggests that the term jungle "could refer to the chaos of Drake's life - both the whirlwind of his public success and his private emotional turmoil." I really like the title of the song and the imagery it brings to my mind. I picture the jungle was wild, dark, and sometimes difficult to get out of. This is the state of mind that I was in when I ventured out of my home of 18 years to come to Provo which was radically different from my home in Newport Beach, California. There was a whirlwind of emotions, thoughts and concerns that were a result of the journey I was embarking alone especially because I would be the first to go to college from anyone else I was related to. This is where the dark, unforeseen terrain ahead of me had pondering the new experience that was coming for me. I had originally planned to attend school in Los Angeles, but after influences from ward members I reluctantly decided to attend BYU. This was a choice I made at the end of June my senior year so the plan for me to move had to happen quickly. My experience aside, Drake's upcoming from teenage Degrassi star to international rap star happened rather quickly in the era where releasing mixtapes on the internet and putting music on youtube was a new form of self advertising back in 2009.
These days, I'm letting God handle all things above me
This line really hit home when I first moved into my apartment in Provo. The moved happened so fast that I did not have time to take in the fact that I had left home and much less the fact that I had settled into a new place, with new faces, new places, and everything else that entails. I realized that things don't always go the way you'd like them and sometimes its hard to accept that. However, the move had fallen into place like pieces fitting into a puzzle in the sense that I was fortunate to go to into the school year with a scholarship, housing, a car, and a place to park it. With family just an hour north I knew deep down that God had blessed me and this move was in fact for me despite how I felt about it. Whether Drake truly believes in God or not is up for debate, but at least in this line he too seems to have the perspective of not worrying about things that are out of your control. This is how I interpret it and I really try to take that mentality to heart.
I'm all over the place, I can't sit in one place.
I'm not ashamed at all
Still finding myself let alone a soulmate I'm just sayin.
It took me close to two semesters to adjust to the new life I was leading. I remember not being able to sleep from the pressure of school, trying to find a job, entering new social circles and not living with my family. It was weird to have my own routine/schedule where I had the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted. It didn't take long for me to have my routine, but even in between figuring it out I felt like I was running to everything having to do laundry, make food, wash my car, pretty much any task was odd for me to be out and about doing it alone. My mind would often wander thinking about my family, my friends, my old life, what could've been had I stayed. This is how I translate "I'm all over the place, I can't sit in one place". Essentially, there I was trying to find my own way/trying to find myself. Dating aside, it wasn't a priority at all to me as I tried to ground myself, but the comments I'd heard about the Provo dating scene raised questions from family members, old friends, and anyone else who wished to ask how that aspect of my life was going. Drake's stardom had him feeling similar to the way I felt except on a much larger scale. What I love is his introspection and his self analyzation of where he is at now. His stardom must have flipped his life upside down with touring, fans, interviews, recording, but that was his new reality with the music industry.
Are we still good? Are we still good?
Are we still good? Are we still good?
If I need to talk, are you around?
Are you down for the cause?
The moved had left me reclusive from everyone except my parents. I would occasionally text them to ask how they were doing in order to keep a connection. My friends however, found their way a their new schools much faster than I did. Over time I failed to keep up with them, which may nor may not be natural, but it was still difficult for me. Whenever I did reach out to any of them, I felt exactly how the lines in the song go "are we still good?". Looking back on it, it was hard for me to move on because of the fact that this move was something I did not wholeheartedly want to make so that made it harder for me to accept it all. I can only imagine Drake's fame made it difficult to keep those who were close to him in his social circle. All the people he would meet meant having to spread himself thin. I really like the repetition of the question because it adds effect to the hole of reconnecting past relationships. The first ask seems like an ice breaker to me where he's trying to feel the mood and the second time around is him having that more emotional connection of like "hey, after everything we've been through, are we still good?".
What am I supposed to after we done everything that we've done?
Who is your replacement?
Are we still good?Are we still good?
Are still good? Are we still good?
These final lyrics really hit home on me starting to make new friendships, coming out of my cage, finding my routine, adjusting to my new life. There is still a part of me that holds onto the past and while I was more open to the experiences and memories I would make, keeping in contact with my friends left me wondering what more there was to experience when I felt like they were having the time of their lives and I was just beginning mine. I learned that some people move out of your life, but at the same time was having others enter it, but for those old friends I connect with I find myself asking "are we still good?". I think for Drake it was more of an intimate relationship the person he's asking if he's still good with and I think that's even harder when you have that special someone in your life that you no longer are close with.
Ultimately, I really love the beat to this song, the artist himself, and this song is definitely one of my all time favorites. It is hard for me to put my journey in words, but by listening to the song I can feel every bit of emotion I felt back when I was a naive 18 year old moving out of Orange County bubble into a completely different world. I eventually accepted my fate and I grew out of it. The friendships from home that mattered remain intact. I understand how much more important my family is to me now. I know that things that are not in my control shouldn't be something I worry about. Finally, new experiences, new friendships, new trails are all part of my growth and while this chapter of my life may have taken the most adjustment, I know these lessons are ones I will be able to carry onto my next chapter of life.
No comments:
Post a Comment